Question

【題目】書(shū)面表達(dá)。

假如你叫李華，你們學(xué)校正在創(chuàng)建“和諧校園”活動(dòng)，倡導(dǎo)人人都做文明中學(xué)生。請(qǐng)你根據(jù)以下提示，給你的英國(guó)筆友Peter寫(xiě)一封郵件，告訴他你認(rèn)為做個(gè)文明中學(xué)生什么是重要的，你通常是怎么做的，以及你的感受。

郵件的開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。所給提示詞語(yǔ)僅供選用。請(qǐng)不要寫(xiě)出你的校名和姓名。

提示詞語(yǔ)：think, smile, respect, say hello to, wait in line, on time, happy

Dear Peter,

How is it going? At my school we’re talking about what we should do to be a good student.

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

Anything new at your school?

Yours,

Li Hua

Answer 1

【答案】

Dear Peter,

How is it going? At my school we’re talking about what we should do to be a good student.

To be a polite middle school student,I think we have to do a lot of things. First, It's important for us to speak politely. We must respect the others. When I meet someone I know ,I often greet him by saying hello to him happliy. We are supposed to be kind to others, warm-hearted to everyone, and generous to our friends.Second, we can't throw rubbish everywhere. We must throw them in the rubbish bins. Littering is not a good habit. Every time I go to the park, I always pick up the litter and put it into the bin. I think if we all do so , the world will be cleaner.Anther important thing is thatwe must follow the rules . There is no doubt that waiting in line is the important rule. I never rush into the bus.Waiting may be a happy thing. I often feel happy when I do something that is better for us. I think being a polite middle school student is proud.

Anything new at your school?

Yours,

Li Hua

【解析】

試題分析：這篇作文乍一看很難，學(xué)生可能不知道如何入手，但是提示詞很多，比如smile，respect，wait in line等，所以學(xué)生都會(huì)有話(huà)可說(shuō)。但是不代表這篇作文很好寫(xiě)，第一個(gè)問(wèn)題是有陷阱的，學(xué)生很容易只表達(dá)what，進(jìn)行描述卻沒(méi)有解釋導(dǎo)致扣分。需要注意的是第二個(gè)要點(diǎn)，你平時(shí)是怎么做的？所以文章應(yīng)該寫(xiě)成夾敘夾議，主體部分分點(diǎn)論述，談?wù)勛约浩綍r(shí)是怎么做的，對(duì)于學(xué)生來(lái)講，難點(diǎn)在于每說(shuō)一點(diǎn)怎么做的，都要加上這一點(diǎn)的原因或者影響。最后一點(diǎn)要注意扣題和升華，孩子們?nèi)菀撞莶萁Y(jié)尾，談不出有深度的感受。這表明中考對(duì)中學(xué)生的認(rèn)知能力和社會(huì)理解能力提出了更高的要求。這篇作文也符合中考改革的方向，強(qiáng)調(diào)知識(shí)運(yùn)用和文化理解，把語(yǔ)言用在生活中，將應(yīng)試和能力更自然地結(jié)合起來(lái)。

寫(xiě)作亮點(diǎn)：這篇短文成夾敘夾議，句式豐富，結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，語(yǔ)言流暢。多種句型的應(yīng)用為文章增色。如：It's important for us…, We are supposed to …, if we all do so, when I do something that…,等。明確提出個(gè)人觀(guān)點(diǎn)，針對(duì)個(gè)人觀(guān)點(diǎn)闡述自己日常的文明行為。明確提出個(gè)人觀(guān)點(diǎn)。使用了熟悉的句型和表達(dá)方式，沒(méi)有語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤，符合題目要求，是一篇優(yōu)秀作文。