Question

根據(jù)以下提示，以My friend為題，寫一篇60詞左右的短文。

Li Hong是我的朋友，在七年級(jí)2班。

他13歲，個(gè)子不高，留著短發(fā)，戴著眼鏡。

他是上海人，和家人住在一起。

他喜歡打籃球，放學(xué)后經(jīng)常和朋友們打籃球。

他最喜歡的籃球運(yùn)動(dòng)員是Jeremy Lin。

                                My friend

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Answer 1

【答案】

 

                         My friend

   I have a good friend, his name is Li Hong.

   We are in the same school but we are in different classes.He is in Class 2,Grade 7.I am in Class 3,Grade 7.He is from Shanghai .He lives with his family now.He is 13 years old.He is not tall and has short hair .He often wears glasses.But he likes playing basketball very much ,so he always play basketball with his friends after school. His favorite basketball player is Jeremy Lin .He often see his games.Li Hong wants to be a famous basketball player like Jeremy Lin one day.I hope he can realize his dream.

【解析】

試題分析：這是一篇提綱作文，文章的題目已經(jīng)給出，而且列出了五條細(xì)節(jié)。寫作文時(shí)要仔細(xì)審題，每一條都要寫到。要注意前后句的連接，不要遺漏要點(diǎn)，并適當(dāng)發(fā)揮。根據(jù)材料內(nèi)容可知本文主要是一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)態(tài)，主語(yǔ)是第三人稱，注意時(shí)態(tài)語(yǔ)時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)的搭配及主謂一致問(wèn)題。寫作中適當(dāng)使用連詞，注意上下文聯(lián)系緊密，符合邏輯關(guān)系。

【亮點(diǎn)說(shuō)明】文章主要寫我的朋友，要點(diǎn)全部都寫出，并且增加了一些內(nèi)容使文章更通順，更符合要求。文中使用很多短語(yǔ)，讓文章更加出彩，如realize his dream， one day.，in the same school ,wants to be a famous baketball player like等。在平時(shí)的學(xué)習(xí)中，要注意點(diǎn)滴積累，這樣在寫作文時(shí)才能靈活運(yùn)用。

考點(diǎn)：提綱作文。